Every morning, whether I go to work or not, I look at myself in the mirror. I make sure nobody makes fun of me unless ink, dung or something else smears across my face. I tell myself to have a good day. That is the small talk I have with myself. For the rest of the day, I slog, churn stories out of thin air by twirling my fingers and daydream to slay mean bosses. Sometimes I converse instead of small talk when I look into the mirror. But looking at myself for too long brings out the memories buried deep in my mind. They are responsible for the dark circles under my eyes. I am healthy, but need to get more rest and sleep.
Psychology says our dreams include things registered in our subconscious mind. That explains why I can’t sleep unperturbed. I stopped trying to make sense of my nightmares long ago. What am I to think of the fly buzz towards me out of nowhere and sting me on my left upper arm? I might just brush it away thinking I saw a close-up of a fly or a mosquito that day. But what about the bugs that ooze out of the swell gifted by the fly? I never knew bugs replaced my blood. In the mirror, I stare at the spot where the fly bit me in my nightmare. There is nothing now. But I remember what my subconscious mind showed me. No, I am not losing my mind. I don’t know how to interpret my dreams. It may mean I am still unable to forget The Mummy movie, especially Brendan Fraser on whom I had a major crush. Never mind Rachael Weisz. Or the nightmare means I will die, irrespective of what I do with my mind and my body. Bugs eat my body inside out and my mind abandons my body when of no use. For what joy should I worry beyond the threshold level? Dark circles appearing under my eyes are the signs of the threshold level.
Such conversations with self through the mirror are rhetorical. I turn away from the mirror but my mind shows me what I see. I can’t turn away from my mirror.
Image source: The Compliance and Ethics Blog